I found my calling.

Yes, I've been missing it all these years, messing around with computers and such. Just listen to my first GarageBand mix, and you'll know what I mean.

What can I say... I have a gift.

To all my adoring fans.

Sorry, I suck. I haven't had anything interesting to write about in the past week. It's odd that I would go a week without something really annoying me. Oh well. I bet there are millions of people out there who have been let-down by my laziness, and for that I apologize.

Vamos al teatro!

This weekend I took Amy out to see a movie. After paying my life savings to get in, and selling three vital organs to buy popcorn and a drink, I walk in the theater, and what do I see? Commercials! Yes, that's right. ...And not just one commercial.... Four commercials! I ended-up paying to watch some stupid Sprite ad. Gaaa!

I don't know about you, but I've had enough! I'm going to send Regal Entertainment Group a bill for the time it cost Amy and me to sit there and watch their commercials.

The way I see it, we paid for 120 minutes of movie. They made us sit through 20 minutes of previews and commercials. That's roughly 16.7% of the total time I planned to spend there. Since the tickets cost us $16, that means I should at the very least get a refund of $2.67. Plus, I think my time is worth about $30 an hour, and Amy's should be about the same. So 20 minutes of our time should cost them $19.98. Add those together, and you've got yourself a bill for $22.65.

I say, let's start a revolution. Here's the formula. Let's all bill them and get some restitution!

$ = (A/B) x C + (D/60) x A

A = Time they wasted (in minutes)
B = Length of Movie (in minutes)
C = Ticket price
D = The amount of money you oughta make per hour
$ = The amount of sweet moolah they owe you

Babies ain't cheap.

Okay, I just read Matt's Blog, and I'm feeling really deep and pensive. So I'm going to step out of the box here and write something a little more thoughtful.

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Lately, all I've been able to think about is business. Trying to grow it and make more money. I mean, seriously, all day, every day.

I think it's because I'm worried about having enough money when the baby comes. We don't have maternity coverage, which means we have to pay for everything ourselves. ...And I don't want to be in debt for the next 20 years to pay-off this baby. I've seen the numbers, and let me just say this: Ouch.

I always think of myself as a problem-solver-type person. I don't like loose ends or unanswered questions, but I think I can be too prideful. I can pray for other people, but I never want to ask God for help because I always feel like I can fix the problem myself.

Who knows... Maybe God put me in this situation so I'd have no choice other than to trust him. I wonder where I'd be now if I would have given this to God from the start. What if I had worried and planned less and prayed more? I guess it's never too late to start doing the right thing.

Ouch, my broadband hurts.

I have three words that describe the stupidity of our culture: AOL for Broadband

For those of you who are unaware, AOL for Broadband is a service you can buy to turn your wonderful, fast broadband connection into a crappy, dumbed-down AOL account... All for the low, low price of $13.95 a month.

My question to you is this: Why would anyone, in any walk of life, want to do that? A person just can't live without "AOL's You've Got Pictures"... and all their "exclusive content". Gee, I've never seen "content" on the Internet.

So now, you're not only paying for your broadband connection, your actually paying another $13.95 to make it suck. Sounds like a great idea... losers.

Sign-in sheets.

Have you ever gone somewhere that had a sign-in sheet as their only level of security? You're supposed to write down your name, the time, and some other information before entering the building. As far as I can tell, they want you to do this so that if something bad happens, they know who was in the building at that time so they have someone to blame. For example, if someone sets something on fire, they want to know who was there so they can figure out which person did it.

The idea sounds good, but it becomes completely useless when they don't check everyone's ID or if they put you on the honor system and don't even monitor the sign-in sheet to make sure people aren't just walking right past it.

My question to you is this: If you were going to vandalize, steal, or kidnap, would you actually write your real name on this sheet? Probably not.

Basically, all you end-up with here is a policy that annoys and incriminates the innocent and removes suspicion from the guilty.

Okay, I figured it out.

I've always had a certain knack for sarcasm, but lately I've been feeling bad for being so critical of things. I feel like having a bad attitude has been holding me back, so I've been trying to tone-down the sarcasm a bit and have a more positive outlook on life.

Overall, this has been a good experience for me, but sometimes the need to complain is so great that I need an outlet of some sort. Enter my blog. From this day forth, I will fill this blog with sarcastic rants that detail all of my noteworthy negative experiences. I might put some positive things in here too, but don't hold your breath. I have plenty of outlets for those.