I'll take the mustard.

So, on the surface it would seem to be a good idea. Gone are the days when that embarrassing stain gets you down. The only problem is it's not instant like in the commercials. There's a 10-minute period of awkwardness while you're waiting for the Tide to dry. I guess you just need to ask yourself, "Would I rather have that tiny mustard stain on my pants or a giant wet spot?"
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Cut to next week when I'm out to lunch with Matt & Neil...

Joe's luncheon delight squirts a small quantity of mustard onto his trousers.

Joe: Oh, my! I am so terribly embarrassed. I must traverse to the restroom... post haste!

Joe rushes off to the restroom, covering the affected area with a napkin, so as not to arouse suspicion by onlookers. Two minutes later, Joe returns proudly, assuming all potential for further embarrassment has been eradicated.

Neil: What the heck, dork... Did you pee your pants in there?!

Joe: No... why would you say... (Joe looks down at the enormous wet spot on his pants from the Tide pen) ...Oh, my!

Joe rushes off to the restroom, covering the affected area with his dinner plate, since the spot is much larger than the napkin. Joe hides in a stall, sobbing silently, waiting until the spot dries. Five minutes later...

Matt: Whatever happened to Joe?

Neil: Who cares? Let's ditch that loser.

Matt & Neil leave and Joe walks all the way back to work.

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See, now wouldn't it be better to just have a little mustard on your pants?